The Santana Chronicles

Last weekend, Mallory’s Mom and Dad came to visit!! Guys, you have no idea how fun this was!! I did so much running, and jumping, and running, and barking, AND sleeping!

So great!

Here are some pictures from the weekend:

You can see in this one that I am working on my blog. Hard at work, as always.

Zen Puppy

It was so great to see these guys! I lived with them for a while and really miss them! How fun to show them around my place! I even took them for a walk up the street!! Read about some of the other things they did while they were here on Mallory’s blog.

In other news, Matt has started working from home on Thursdays…this is really starting to get on my nerves. Apparently they think I do NOTHING around here! I have lots to do during the day! (Keep your eye out for some direct evidence of this soon)

But this week was different, Matt let me know he was interested in learning how to do the Shred! You all know I am the master of the shred for puppies, and Matt just wanted to take advantage of this.

When he got down to do some pushups, I quickly had to correct him! The best way to correct a boy’s pushups is to run underneath him and fix his form! Some pouncing is also ideal. Seriously. I’m glad I helped him with this! He was doing his pushups ALL wrong! He is a stubborn guy…he tried to do some in the bedroom, but I kept my eye on him the whole time!

I guess his being home all day isn’t so bad if we get a good workout in like this! To Matt, I would like to say, you are very welcome for the exercise tips.

Puppy Out.

-S.

Guys guys guys!! Guess what!! I’m Santana! And I’m a puppy! AND I’m a member of the Dog Time Network!!  I’m a Dog Time Blog Star!!! Could this day get any more exciting??

The Dog Time Network is a great network of bloggers who love dogs, bloggers who know dogs, bloggers who ARE dogs (ME!).  This is AWESOME!  I’m really excited to be a part of this network and can’t wait to connect to other puppies around the internet and enjoy the dog fun!

To celebrate my new Dog Time status, I decided I needed a new Summer dress! It was a gorgeous weekend and we went to the dog park (where I successfully avoided all other dogs and got to spend some time all by myself in the park) and then we walked around Green lake.  The path around the lake is about 3 miles long, but when you zig and zag back and forth the entire time, I estimate that you walk at least twice that distance! How fun to be a puppy like me!!

The wonderful weather really made me want a dress, and we searched high and low in all the fancy boutiques around town.  The one we decided upon was actually at Target!! Hooray for Target finally updating their puppy clothing selection! Look how pretty I am!!

In other excitement, at the beginning of May, Mallory’s parents are coming to visit!! I used to live with them sometimes and I rode with Mallory’s dad across the country to come to Seattle!!

THEN at the beginning of August, one of Mallory’s best friends from KY is coming to visit for two weeks!! This is super exciting because this friend is the one who bought me and gave me to Mallory for a graduation present three years ago!! And she hasn’t seen me since I was a tiny tiny tiny baby puppy, like this:

She will be stunned to see how big I, Santana, have grown!! Get ready for fun!  She is almost done with Vet school right now, so she knows all about how to take care of puppies like me! I will show HER how to run in big circles and it will be glorious!

Last excitement! Dori is giving away a doormat! A doormat! Guys these are hilarious! About DOGS!!!!!

As a puppy, here are the qualities I look for in a toy:

• Shreddable– This way I can spread all of the pieces around the apartment as I tear the toy apart!  The best of these are the rope toys!! I have a feeling Matt and Mallory don’t like this type of toy because I hardly ever seem to get them anymore.  I’m currently working on a rope ball…it’s pretty great, but not as fun as the typical rope toy!

• Tugable – This is what makes the regular rope toy stand out! Not only can I shred it and lick it as much as I want, I can also share it with my friends and PULLLLL! I have also had other toys that are good for this!

• Fluffy – When I was a baby puppy, I had a lot of fluffy things! Balled up socks and gloves, a fun stuffed cow, other stuffed animals.  It was great!  Some of them accidentally got peed on (whatever happened to those ones, I wonder?!) and some I TORE APART! It was spectacular! Come to think of it, I don’t really get these ones anymore either.

The photos above are actually of my torn apart fluffy bed and me as a tiny baby chewing on some balled up gloves!!! Below, me in my baby baby cage, with my first best friend, the cow, and later with my second best friend, Dangles!

• Textured – I like to keep my teeth and gums nice and clean, so I tend to lean towards toys that have some rough edges, bumps, etc.  They’re great! I work hard at them and break them apart AND get my teeth clean at the same time…what a deal!

The sharp toy…this thing is my life.

• Edible – uh, duh.

I recently got a great toy that incorporates almost all of these qualities…I efficiently shredded the rope out of it, but Mallory accidentally threw it away! The rubber part of the toy is still great for tug-o-war, puppy style! 

Anyway, none of these qualities apply to the toy I just got for my birthday, so I was skeptical at first.  I mean, look at the thing:

Not exactly shreddable, tugable, fluffy, OR textured! In fact, it’s the smooth, rubbery material that I usually ignore!

However, there was magic to be found within….TREATS!! AND LATER, PEANUT BUTTER!!  How does such a toy exist?? This is like a food bowl I can play with!

Sometimes, my Kong is full of treats…this is delicious and crunchily satisfying.  The only problem is that it’s hard to get them out sometimes, and once the treat comes out, I eat it so quickly!  Then it’s just gone!  Not a lot of long-lasting fun there!

Other times, though, the Kong is full of PEANUT BUTTER!!!! Mallory even went to Whole Foods to grind me some butter made from just peanuts…no added oils, sugars, or salts.  Just pure peanuty goodness for a puppy like me!! I cannot explain to you non-puppies out there how absolutely satisfying it is to lick lick lick lick the afternoon away.  Every lick results in a little wonderfully nutty bit of peanut butter on my tongue! And sometimes on my nose and whiskers, which is a great surprise later on when I find it!  Sometimes, I randomly find the Kong in the middle of the floor, or sitting on my couch, and with a slight sniff I realize that there was some peanut butter in there that I missed, and then the licking begins again! The joy of this goes on for hours!

I have also realized that the Kong is fun when there isn’t food inside of it!! Sometimes, just for fun, I will chew on it a little bit and then drop it in Mallory or Matt’s lap.  They can’t really tug it with me because they REFUSE to use their mouths, but I’ve realized another quality I’d like to add to my list.  This has always been considered when I’ve perused toys, but it is always an add-on, never a quality to be admired in its own right, UNTIL NOW!  It is:

• Throwable!!! – I love to chase things!! And sometimes, a puppy just can’t be bothered with all that tugging, and you just want to say “GET TO THE THROWING ALREADY!!” The Kong does this perfectly!! Plus, when it hits the ground, it bounces and rolls away a little, so I get to chase and jump and catch all in one throw!!

Unbelievable fun!! Four paws up for Kong!!!!

Can someone (a puppy possibly?) find fulfillment from just eating, sleeping, pooping and sleeping?

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The answer is yes.
Pupppy out.

-s

Hey guys! Its me SANTANA!

I just read this awesome post from Dori’s blog where she talks about the 30 day shred challenge.  I am all about getting in shape and having fun while doing it so I decided to purchase my own copy.  Then to my dismay I learned that this is not targeted at all to persons of the puppy persuasian.

First of all,  it comes in the form of a DVD.  This is a huge issue for me.  I am home all day so I have plenty of time to watch this but I lack the capability to open the packaging and use the DVD player.

The second issue is that I am unable to understand the concept of television.  When a dog barks on TV I can react but I am unable to watch the screen and understand what the flashing lights mean.

So, eventually, I got Matt to put the DVD in for me…obviously this can’t be done EVERY time I want to work out! Maybe I can just memorize the DVD and then I will be able to do the shred challenge CONSTANTLY! (Can you do this while you’re sleeping on the couch, I wonder?)

Anyway, being a puppy, I did the shred challenge.  However, also being a puppy, I CAN’T DO THE BUTT KICKS! Who invented these non-puppy-friendly butt kicks?? Not only did my ankle keep cracking just like Dori’s, there is NO WAY that my leg bends that way…and believe me, I TRIED!  But guess what guys….I’M A FRIGGIN PUPPY! I can’t do the butt kicks…WHATEV.

Things I do like about the workout:

1) Pushups.  I AM SO GOOD AT PUSHUPS!

2) Jumping Jacks. One word: AWESOME!

But seriously now.  Puppies should NOT try this DVD…it is dangerous.  Who knows what could happen if a puppy was determined to do a butt kick?? WHO KNOWS?!

SO, in my puppy wisdom and ingenuity, I propose a new and improved 30 Day Shred for PUPPIES! You heard right, PUPPIES! Get on board people, we’re awesome. We’re puppies for heaven’s sake. puppies!

I haven’t fleshed out all the details but here are a few key points that must be included when I work with research and development to put this thing together:

1) NO FRIGGIN BUTT KICKS! IS THAT EVEN AN EXERCISE?

2) Instead of butt kicks: BUTT LICKING! Increases flexibility and it’s delicious! Both physically and mentally stimulating, I’d say!

3) Giant running circles! Hello! This is CRUCIAL to any workout.  Dori, are you running in circles????

4) Eating.  Duh.

5)Partner dances!

5) Now, the first disappointment for me when I started this DVD was that even though it is called “30 Day Shred”, there is no actual shredding!! WHAT THE FRICK! In the puppy shred, there is shredding! In fact, included with each purchase is a great, shreddable rope ball!!!!

6) Distribution will be a problem…my target audience is clearly puppies (maybe some cats? and probably the elderly!), but we puppies, cats, and old people have limited buying power.  Any suggestions?  Also, it can’t be in DVD form, as none of us know how to work that crap.

Let me know your thoughts! I’M A PUPPY AND I WANT TO SHRED!

Puppy out.

-S