The Santana Chronicles

Hey guys! Its me SANTANA!

I just read this awesome post from Dori’s blog where she talks about the 30 day shred challenge.  I am all about getting in shape and having fun while doing it so I decided to purchase my own copy.  Then to my dismay I learned that this is not targeted at all to persons of the puppy persuasian.

First of all,  it comes in the form of a DVD.  This is a huge issue for me.  I am home all day so I have plenty of time to watch this but I lack the capability to open the packaging and use the DVD player.

The second issue is that I am unable to understand the concept of television.  When a dog barks on TV I can react but I am unable to watch the screen and understand what the flashing lights mean.

So, eventually, I got Matt to put the DVD in for me…obviously this can’t be done EVERY time I want to work out! Maybe I can just memorize the DVD and then I will be able to do the shred challenge CONSTANTLY! (Can you do this while you’re sleeping on the couch, I wonder?)

Anyway, being a puppy, I did the shred challenge.  However, also being a puppy, I CAN’T DO THE BUTT KICKS! Who invented these non-puppy-friendly butt kicks?? Not only did my ankle keep cracking just like Dori’s, there is NO WAY that my leg bends that way…and believe me, I TRIED!  But guess what guys….I’M A FRIGGIN PUPPY! I can’t do the butt kicks…WHATEV.

Things I do like about the workout:

1) Pushups.  I AM SO GOOD AT PUSHUPS!

2) Jumping Jacks. One word: AWESOME!

But seriously now.  Puppies should NOT try this DVD…it is dangerous.  Who knows what could happen if a puppy was determined to do a butt kick?? WHO KNOWS?!

SO, in my puppy wisdom and ingenuity, I propose a new and improved 30 Day Shred for PUPPIES! You heard right, PUPPIES! Get on board people, we’re awesome. We’re puppies for heaven’s sake. puppies!

I haven’t fleshed out all the details but here are a few key points that must be included when I work with research and development to put this thing together:

1) NO FRIGGIN BUTT KICKS! IS THAT EVEN AN EXERCISE?

2) Instead of butt kicks: BUTT LICKING! Increases flexibility and it’s delicious! Both physically and mentally stimulating, I’d say!

3) Giant running circles! Hello! This is CRUCIAL to any workout.  Dori, are you running in circles????

4) Eating.  Duh.

5)Partner dances!

5) Now, the first disappointment for me when I started this DVD was that even though it is called “30 Day Shred”, there is no actual shredding!! WHAT THE FRICK! In the puppy shred, there is shredding! In fact, included with each purchase is a great, shreddable rope ball!!!!

6) Distribution will be a problem…my target audience is clearly puppies (maybe some cats? and probably the elderly!), but we puppies, cats, and old people have limited buying power.  Any suggestions?  Also, it can’t be in DVD form, as none of us know how to work that crap.

Let me know your thoughts! I’M A PUPPY AND I WANT TO SHRED!

Puppy out.

-S

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 15th, 2009 at 12:42 am and is filed under Family & Friends, Food, RUN. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.